Two Last Kisses
by sweetsilverlining
Summary: Ricky was supposed to give her only one last kiss, but they steal another one that lacks the spite of the first one.


Title: Two Last Kisses

Category: The Secret Life of the American Teenager

Pairing: Ricky/Adrian

Genre: Romance

Rating: Teen

Summary: Ricky was supposed to give her only one last kiss, but they steal another one that lacks the spite of the first one.

Chapter: 1/1

Author's Note: Missing scene after Ricky and Adrian's last kiss. Again, not a fan of the pairing, don't read. Hope you enjoy.

* * *

The feel of his lips against hers was so familiar. His was the _only _kiss that she had ever received, among the many that she had shared with various men in the past, that she could honestly say took her breath away every single time.

And this time was no different. Her breath was trapped in her throat, and she was certain that the room had gone up at least fifteen degrees. But it wasn't just the heat of the kiss that set her skin on fire; it was the humiliation of every pair of eyes being planted on her and Ricky. It was the humiliation of Omar standing just behind her and watching, Amy crossing her arms and staring with her lips pursed, and Ricky's hands cupping Adrian's face as if he were trying to show the world just how much he was _not_ enjoying it, just how much he was completely over what they had together.

When he pulled away, their eyes locked questionably, as if Ricky and Adrian were both waiting for the other to say something first. He looked angry, but it wasn't the anger that she was used to; it wasn't the anger that told her about Ricky's father, it wasn't the anger that had his veins protruding in his forehead and filled his eyes with furious tears. It was spite. He wanted to humiliate her. He wanted to embarrass her in front of the entire crowd, and if his idea was to give her what he wanted while at the same time hurting her, he succeeded, but she was determined to hold her guard, despite the pain that knotted in her stomach. She was not going to give him the advantage of speaking first.

"I'm free," she announced. "I never thought I would be, but I'm _free..._" She laughed what she considered to be a spite-filled and convincing laugh. "I'm free of you." She hoped her words hurt him, or at the very least, she hoped that her words affected him. She wanted him to feel something. Feel the pain that she had felt. Whipping around, she turned toward Omar who greeted her with a scowl. _He _was embarrassed; he was humiliated, and she didn't even care. She should care, she knew that. But Ricky was the center of her thoughts. She wondered how convincing she appeared to everybody else. And more importantly, she wondered if there was a part of Ricky that felt the same thing that Adrian did when their lips made contact again; if he felt that spark and _heat_, as Ricky had once put it, that was always there between them, since their very first kiss. She wondered if he felt the pain of their distance and the pain of their mistakes. The pain that haunted her every day.

But it wasn't pain over herself. It was for other people. Adrian Lee was not selfish, though her actions would say otherwise; she was insecure. Her self-confidence had shot down like an arrow this year. She loathed that her insecurity had driven her to sleep with Ben. She remembered the dread and guilt that settled in her stomach when she saw just how heartbroken Ricky looked when he found out what she had done. She hadn't wanted to hurt him; she only wanted him to want _her_, just her, for _once. _And she had just known that he was cheating on her that night... She suspected it with every fiber of her being. Every time she looked at that awful window, she was reminded of what it symbolized.

And oh god, Mercy. Her baby shouldn't have been born for the reasons that she was, but Adrian loved her so much and she should _not _have died for the reasons that she did - there _was _no reason. Adrian was healthy, and the doctors had claimed that the baby was healthy, all the way up until she was born. But she didn't make it. Adrian didn't believe in karma, but she sure as hell believed that she got what she deserved. But Mercy didn't.

Ricky did.

And if she was a good person, she wouldn't have pursued him knowing that he was happy with Amy now. She wouldn't have asked for another kiss. But she wanted him to comfort her. She wanted to be alone with him and have him tell her that everything was all right and he didn't hate her, even if he should. Ricky wasn't entirely innocent. He had cheated on her more times than Adrian had cheated on him, but something about sleeping with Ben out of spite and insecurity really hurt him. And now he'd kissed her with that same spite.

As the party began to wind down, Adrian stood over the bathroom sink and cleared the smudges of mascara from her face. Her breathing had returned to normal now, that breathlessness feeling no longer present, though a sick sort of feeling still turned her stomach.

After she'd removed her makeup, she left the bathroom and immediately stilled when she saw Ricky standing there by the door, waiting for the bathroom. Just before he could turn around and walk away, she spoke up. "Ricky, _wait. _Would you wait?"

"Why?" He heaved a sigh, turning around so they were standing face to face. "What do you want, Adrian?"

"Excuse me. You're the one standing outside the door staring at me."

"I wasn't even staring at you. I didn't know you were in there," he muttered. "Look, you got what you wanted. One last kiss. And now you're free, and I'm free. So I've got to get going. Whatever this is..." he motioned a hand between them. "Isn't happening."

"We are _not _through here, Ricky," she insisted.

"'We,'" he echoed, knitting his eyebrows. "Why are you saying 'we'? There is no 'we'. Hasn't been for a long time."

"Can we just go somewhere and talk? Five minutes."

Her eyes darted around, neck twisting to see around the corner and finding Amy across the room. Ricky sighed and shook his head. "Talk."

"Not here," she snapped.

For whatever reason, Ricky remembered her stubbornness and turned his head toward the crowd then without saying another word headed farther down the hallway to find a place where they could talk. He found a room at the end of the hall and opened the door, both of them walking inside and Ricky flipping on the light. "Five minutes," he reminded her.

"Shut the door."

"No. Start talking. I'm giving you five minutes to say whatever you want to say to me. The door's staying open."

She clenched her jaw, and knowing he was only giving her a limited amount of time, she didn't hold back. "That is not how I wanted it. In front of Amy and all of our friends. That isn't what I wanted, at all."

"You're actually criticizing the way I said goodbye to you?" he scoffed.

"I guess I am."

He nodded slowly. "Right. Well, sorry for the disappointment," he said sarcastically. "It must have been a let down, huh?"

She rolled her eyes. "I want a do-over."

"What?"

"Yeah. If you're really through with me, then do it properly. Right in here, where we're _alone. _I don't want Amy watching."

"In case you've forgotten, Amy's my girlfriend. I'm not just gonna go around kissing other girls unless she knows about it and she's okay with it," he said, causing Adrian to raise an eyebrow and fold her arms. "And believe me, she wasn't happy having to watch that. I'm not going behind her back."

Adrian knew he wasn't thinking it, but she was. Her face fell very slightly.

_I'm not going behind her back, like I went behind your back when were together..._

"I'm not doing this." He turned his head, starting for the door. "Sorry, but no."

"Ricky." Without thinking, Adrian reached for him and her hand brushed against his arm, causing a shocking jolt to run through both of them, instantly halting Ricky's steps. He stood frozen with his back toward her, and she could hear him swallow the lump in his throat. "Would you just _please—_" her voice cracked desperately as she quickly released her touch on his arm. Knowing this may have been the only chance she would ever have again, she couldn't beat around the bush. "Ricky, I am _putting myself out there for you, _like I haven't in _so long—" _Tears stung fiercely in the back of her eyes. Cautiously, he looked at her. "Would you just please kiss me? Like you mean it. Just _one _more time. I can't live knowing that you hate me. I can't — I can't _breathe_ carrying this guilt around every _single second _of the day. God, please."

He wasn't leaving, but he wasn't moving closer either. "Adrian..." For lack of knowing what to do, he swallowed and kept completely still, shaking his head. She could see a pain in his eyes, a look that he hadn't given her in at least a year. A pain for her, almost... Maybe even for them.

He could see it all over again as her tears continued their manipulation — Adrian chasing after him before he could leave, trying to figure out the reason behind his sudden anger. Her defeated pleas when he wouldn't talk to her. Her being there for him, telling him he could trust her. His resistance holding firm but wanting to believe her, wanting to tell her even if it scared the hell out of him. Adrian crying as he told her. Wanting to be there for him, help him, not giving up on him the way that everyone else did.

The way her face fell and he still ended up leaving that night.

The way his feelings for her changed after that moment. The way it stopped being just sex.

Her jealousy. Her peril belief that he wanted Amy. His jealousy. Ricky becoming a father. Ricky standing up to Adrian's father. Breaking up, but Ricky still coming back to her. Stealing a kiss. Fighting. Going to therapy together. Realizing that Adrian was terrified of getting close to someone, only to have them leave her.

Adrian's strength. Her intelligence. Her sense of humor. Always telling it how it is. Saying what's on her mind. Adrian's insecurity. Her loving heart. Her damaged heart. Her laugh.

Her cry.

His eyes glassy, Ricky nudged closed the door and turned toward her. "Is that what you want, then?" he asked gruffly. "You want one last kiss? A real one? You want it to be real?" His heart pounded in his chest, the blood rushing to his face.

Adrian's chest heaved and she nodded, her teeth clenching tightly.

He looked into the bedroom that only they occupied and she watched him move closer and run his hand through her hair.

Her eyes slipped closed as his fingertips ghosted along her neck.

"That's what I want," she breathed.

His gaze dropped to her mouth and he leaned in, pressing their lips firmly together as his fingers stayed at her neck, sliding to her shoulder as if he was uncertain where his hand should rest. He remembered this kiss. It was frantic, desperate, stolen in between deep and frightening moments. He didn't hesitate to give her exactly what she wanted. His hand felt awkward on her shoulder, so he snaked his hand around her waist as they kissed, rediscovering each other, lips taking and prodding. Her back was against the wall and his hand that wasn't around her waist was fisted against the wall, keeping them steady. Wanting her to feel that he meant it, he kissed her slowly and cradled her face in his hand, their eyes closed.

The kiss was wrong, though there was nothing about it that felt wrong to either of them. It was something that only they could understand and it could never be explained to anyone else. She could feel his sincerity and she felt that in that moment he was right there with her, thinking exactly what she thought, feeling exactly what she felt. And when he finally pulled away, when they pulled away one last time, they stared at each other for a while. The sound of their breathing filled the room. His stare said a million things, but they all felt so foreign, yet familiar.

"I've _never_ hated you..." he breathed out. He waited another few pauses before moving and walking out of the room, disappearing from her sight. It was one last kiss. She could still feel the effects that his kiss had left, and they stayed with her as she stared in a daze at the wall.

And then she closed her eyes tightly and forced in a deep breath, letting her back slide down the wall, and hugged her knees into her chest.

_I'll always love you._


End file.
